I'm not a "lactivist". When it comes to nutrition for babies, I will always give my opinion if it's solicited, but I also don't feel I'm in any position to judge people who've made an informed decision for their child, even if it's not the decision I would make. Although, I will certainly bitch about it to my husband and breastfeeding friends if it's an uninformed or selfish decision.
Lately, however, as I hang out more on birth boards and have time to read the comments on articles and blog posts I read online, I keep bumping head on into this attitude: There is no need to breastfeed after one and anyone who does it is creepy/ disgusting.
This fires me up like nothing else. I've said before in this blog that I aimed to breastfeed Lily until two. Well, hospital bed rest is an obstacle I hadn't really envisaged. But you can't keep a good breastfeeding mother down, and we're working with it. While my greatest heartbreak as a mother has been that she is now almost exclusively bottle fed (that, and that we never got into cloth nappies. That actually makes me feel shame, but is not the point of this blog), no one in the family has actually given up yet. We all make sure Lily at least tries every time she visits, and I've spoken to a lactation consultant that says if I keep that up she will remember and will probably enjoy tandem feeding when my milk comes back down in earnest after the baby is born. And when I go home in a couple of weeks, we will pick right back up where we left off. The only person not on board with this is Lily. It seems that as my milk supply has dwindled in the face of not feeding her 4 - 6 times a day, my colostrum has taken this as a cue to take over.
I read many articles about breastfeeding and pregnancy before we made the final decision to begin trying for a second child. I really didn't want anything to interfere with Lily's breastfeeding, and I wanted to make an informed choice about whether falling pregnant while she was still breastfeeding was the best thing for everyone. Well, I read about the challenges, but it seemed most people have an overwhelmingly positive experience, especially once they made it out the other side and were able to tandem feed, which I desperately want to do. And Lily and I were doing great! She hadn't even batted an eyelid at the flavour change, she had adjusted her number of feeds to make up for my low supply, I was ignoring the nipple pain, we were cheerfully ignoring people who were trying to convince us to stop , Dr Cattanach was being very supportive and I wasn't yet big enough to feel uncomfortable. It seemed we would meet this challenge and I would get to fulfil my desire to tandem feed. And then I got put on bed rest. At first Lily loved the special Mummy cuddle, but then she got less interested, having a go, and then looking at me and talking to me and finally, Monday night sealed it. Grandma optimistically didn't bring a bottle with her on Monday night, hoping Lily would take a breastfeed. She had a go and then she just cried and cried. It doesn't matter. She was tired and ready to go home and there are still different things we can try, like feeding her when she gets here so she's not tired, and in two weeks, she and I will go back to working as a team full time to make breastfeeding work. If it doesn't, which it may not as the appearance of colostrum on the scene sometimes spells the end as the flavour is so dramatically different, we will still try and pick it up again after the baby is born. You can't keep a good breastfeeding mother down, after all!
Which is a very roundabout way of getting to my explanation of why it upsets me so badly when people act like breastfeeding after one is either unnecessary or wrong on some level. Like I said at the beginning of the post, I don't feel it's my place to cast judgement on people who have made an informed decision for them and their child. Difficulties with breastfeeding are a very real problem for many and who am I to say what they are doing is wrong? Well, on the flip side, I don't want to be told be anyone that what I am doing is wrong. Especially when it is in no way harmful to my daughter, not by any stretch of the imagination, and there is so much evidence to suggest that what I am doing is exactly the right thing. Not only is the WHO on board with breastfeeding well past one, it seems that western governments are jumping on the bandwagon. Queensland Health is now on board, and recently a friend of mine posted nutrition information for children over one produced by the Canadian government that had breast milk as a food. I'm sure that countries in Europe, and maybe even good old America have similar policies and recommendations. In fact, I have never read any serious medical or nutritional evidence that says that breastfeeding after one is unnecessary. If one is mentioned, it's usually in an "at least" capacity. I certainly don't think I will ever find any evidence that there is something creepy or harmful about breastfeeding a toddler, except, perhaps, for ignorant opinion.
Maybe it's just that I get most of my information from people that where their pro-breastfeeding stance on their sleeve. I don't really think so though. I think the problem is community ignorance, which is a shame, especially as good nutrition for children is such a community issue with rising levels of overweight and obese children.
In the end, community opinion is not going to sway me. I have made the right choice for my family, in consultation with the only other person that really matters, my husband. Lily and I are going to do our best to keep it up until two, despite what anyone has to say, and I will also be breastfeeding my son for as long. And we'll be cheerfully and proudly doing it in public, too!
