I have new hobby. It's planning out the next ten years of parties for my kids.
Lily's 2nd birthday was a surprising success. As I was expecting disaster, anything better would have been successful, I suppose, but really, I think it was wonderful! I had a good time, anyway.
Not only that, after I missed out on having a really whizz bang first birthday for her, like I had wanted, I was thrilled to go a little OTT.
And since then I have been enormously excited about Archer's party. It's going to be Very Hungry Caterpillar themed, and we have everything, from candles to balloons to outfits. I've got the menu worked out and the activities decided on and short of buying the food and his gifts, which we will do in the enormous and competitive up coming toy sales at Target and Big W, everything is done or organised. My main splash out has been sourcing lollipops that exactly match the one from the book as party favours. So really, any more thinking or planning on this party is superfluous.
So, instead, armed with Pinterest, I have been planning their next parties. And the one after that. And the one after that.
I've mentioned previously that next year we are going smaller for Lily. The reason for this is two fold, Lily got a bigger than planned 2nd birthday, and I think Archer deserves the same, and I also think there is much to be appreciated in a small, but highly detailed, afternoon party as opposed to a larger scale party, that is really for Mummy and Daddy as well.
It didn't take me long to come up with a theme that would suit four little girls. Pretty in Pink Princess High Tea. Pink and white food, drinks and decorations will be the order of the day, with an extra special splash of colour from some large tissue paper pom poms. I'm very, very excited.
Archer's second and third birthday will follow the same pattern as Lily's, with a delightfully over the top 2nd birthday and a small scale third birthday.
And you better believe themes, food, activities and decorations are all thought of and sourced.
Archie will be having an "Under the Sea" theme next year, complete with fish pinata, fish and chips for lunch and bucket and spade favours.
And his third birthday? A dinosaur dig, complete with bones buried in the sand pit, dino shaped pasta (thank you Coles!) and lava for lunch and magnificent t-rex shaped balloons. Perfect for four little boys (and one big sister), I think!
For both their fourth birthdays we will be skipping the party and purchasing new bedroom furniture and linen and giving them their big kid room. And for their fifth birthdays, their last at preschool, we are going to do a whole class affair at an indoor play center.
And for their sixth birthdays? This one will be the all out one, the last one we spend huge dollars on before the milestone birthdays start happening. Lily is going to have a fairy theme, with activities including wand and wing making. I also hope to rope some unsuspecting teenager into painting faces.
And Archer's will be pirates, including a large scale treasure hunt where the booty contains the loot bags.
Maybe there will even be jumping castles. Maybe.
After that? Well, presuming they don't want a say, I've mused on Lego themes, soccer themes and Star Wars themes. The soccer one is my pet. I imagine the first hour will be devoted to a soccer clinic and mini game, run by my husband and then a sausage sizzle, with ball shaped cake and water bottle favours stuffed with whistles and other soccer related items and sweets.
I'm also desperately hoping at 10+ Lily will be interested in a 1950s themed roller skating party. I envision 20 little girls in pastel poodle skirts having the time of their lives. The reality will probably be 20 little girls in skinny jeans taking turns at sobbing their little hearts out every time they go arse over.
Hey, I can dream.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Am I Mum Enough?
Have you seen the image floating around the web of the cover of the the Times magazine with the smoking mum breastfeeding her front row forward three year old?
Well, if not, here it is.
I haven't read the article, which is not about extended breastfeeding but rather attachment parenting, of which there are many aspects, not just magazine selling extended breastfeeding, but boy has it gotten mummy bloggers everywhere hot under the collar.
I'm a bit "meh" about the image. It's designed to ignite controversy and there is a much more beautiful image inside where the child looks his age and is nursing lovingly. I think the cover image, that most people will see, does nothing for positive breastfeeding press.
Mothers are very quick to get very defensive about their formula choice. Many, many blogs and online articles that are desperately trying to advocate for breastfeeding, especially extended breastfeeding, get swamped by irate mothers invoking hysterical nonsense like, "I shouldn't have to feel guilty." In my opinion, just talking about extended breastfeeding isn't trying to make you feel guilty, it's just trying to raise awareness and encourage people to view it as normal. Community views on breastfeeding are a huge obstacle right now, and let's face it, not enough women are following the WHO guidelines.
And that's where my commentary on that stops. Anything further would push me into nutty lactivist territory and I'm not about that. I support mothers who honestly can't breastfeed or mothers that have very good reasons for not breastfeeding, and I hope they support my choice to breastfeed my children until they are ready to wean.
What I really want to speak about is being "mum enough". The article, from what I've gathered, is about the extremeness of attachment parenting and I guess what a hardcore mum you have to be to do it.
I'm going to go right out there and say, I'm not Mum enough.
Well, if not, here it is.
I haven't read the article, which is not about extended breastfeeding but rather attachment parenting, of which there are many aspects, not just magazine selling extended breastfeeding, but boy has it gotten mummy bloggers everywhere hot under the collar.
I'm a bit "meh" about the image. It's designed to ignite controversy and there is a much more beautiful image inside where the child looks his age and is nursing lovingly. I think the cover image, that most people will see, does nothing for positive breastfeeding press.
Mothers are very quick to get very defensive about their formula choice. Many, many blogs and online articles that are desperately trying to advocate for breastfeeding, especially extended breastfeeding, get swamped by irate mothers invoking hysterical nonsense like, "I shouldn't have to feel guilty." In my opinion, just talking about extended breastfeeding isn't trying to make you feel guilty, it's just trying to raise awareness and encourage people to view it as normal. Community views on breastfeeding are a huge obstacle right now, and let's face it, not enough women are following the WHO guidelines.
And that's where my commentary on that stops. Anything further would push me into nutty lactivist territory and I'm not about that. I support mothers who honestly can't breastfeed or mothers that have very good reasons for not breastfeeding, and I hope they support my choice to breastfeed my children until they are ready to wean.
What I really want to speak about is being "mum enough". The article, from what I've gathered, is about the extremeness of attachment parenting and I guess what a hardcore mum you have to be to do it.
I'm going to go right out there and say, I'm not Mum enough.
- You couldn't pay me to wear my kids.
- Co-sleeping sucks, and I only do it because getting up eight times during the night sucks worse.
- I've tried cloth nappies, and while I was mopping up the 57th puddle of wee, scrubbing out the 95th poo stain and washing them for the 112th time trying to get them to be absorbent, I went "Fuck this shit, hand over the sposies."
- I make my own baby food because it's fun. If I got bored of it, I would totally supplement with jars.
- I do not like being a stay at home mum. It doesn't suit me. I feel suffocated and bored. Bring on uni and work!
- Sometimes I let my kids cry. Sometimes I let both my kids cry at the same time.
- For the most part, I can't stand other mothers.
- I refuse to take shit from my toddler. If she's naughty, I treat her as such.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Lily is Two!
Lily is two and I've been going through a lot emotionally due to this. The weirdest for me was dwelling a fair bit on our NICU experience, this did not happen when she turned one, so I guess there's something subconscious with her being two that got me a bit. I feel like perhaps it's that her babyhood is really behind her.
The night before her birthday party, Bob and I sat down to make a party playlist to be played with a slideshow of pcictures from when she was born and I absolutely lost it when he played The Beatles Blackbird and Defying Gravity from Wicked. They just really resonated with me.
Our sweet little girl has come so far. From hanging on in the womb, quite literally, for dear life, to being a NICU superstar, to growing so beautifully into a little girl who amazes me every single day.
I am so proud of her, she can:
The night before her birthday party, Bob and I sat down to make a party playlist to be played with a slideshow of pcictures from when she was born and I absolutely lost it when he played The Beatles Blackbird and Defying Gravity from Wicked. They just really resonated with me.
Our sweet little girl has come so far. From hanging on in the womb, quite literally, for dear life, to being a NICU superstar, to growing so beautifully into a little girl who amazes me every single day.
I am so proud of her, she can:
- Count to five without help and count to ten with help
- Count to five is Spanish (bloody Dora)
- Consistently name blue, yellow, purple and black. Inconsistently name red and green
- Identify happy from sad, big from little, hot from cold, up from down, open from closed and boy from girl
- Drink from a cup and eat with a spoon and a fork
- Use plurals appropriately
- Almost walk up stairs without help
- Name a huge variety of animals and their noises
- Name most of her obvious body parts, including, if you want a giggle "fanny", "bum" and "boobies"
- Feed the animals at night (Dog dinnies and Cat dinnies)
- Follow instructions with multiple steps
- Swim to a "safe" place all on her own
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Experiences with a (almost) Two Year Old
So this is a slightly retroactive post in that these occur before Lily turned two.
The last time I talked about taking Lily somewhere special, it was to Taronga Park Zoo when she was about 18 months old. And, it was fun, but it was very hard to tell if she got anything out of it and it was very hard work for not much reward, at the end of the day.
So, it was with some apprehension, Bob and I embarked on our first big outing since then.
I have been insisting for some time that we take the kids to the Easter Show. On Saturday 14 April, we finally did it. I was freaking out a bit, because Bob insisted we drive to Hornsby station and catch the train from there. I'm not going to lie, this part was difficult. Physically and mentally, but the actual show was tons of fun.
Lily was beyond over excited about the farm animals, cheerily naming them all, surprising us when she correctly identified a donkey and astounding us when she spotted the turkeys in the poultry shed and excitedly ran over saying "Turkey! Gobble gobble." I still have no idea where she learned this. Her Fisher Price Little People Farm has a turkey, but it doesn't make the sound and I've never shown her. Once I saw turkeys on Playschool, but Lily rarely sits and watches TV and this was at least a month prior, probably more. Kid is a sponge.
She liked the idea of her showbag (a Dora one with hat, jewellery box, umbrella, lunch box and water bottle) and enjoyed tasting the show favourite, a dagwood dog. Archer wasn't quite as fond of the whole experience, overwhelmed by the people, sights, sounds and smells, but he had an alright day and was very pleased with the Cookie Monster rattle from his Sesame street Beginnings showbag, which matches the Elmo one from Lily's first Ekka in 2010.
Bob and I agreed it was lots of fun and we've decided we'll making it annual event.
On Monday, 30 April, we took Lily to the Hi 5 concert at Hornsby RSL. I was very nervous, I had no idea what it was going to be like and when telling Lily what we were doing, she seemed more bewildered than anything.
I'm pleased to say, it wasn't a failure. Lily was extremely overwhelmed, but was able to muster a few "Wow, Hi 5!"s, and towards the end, she did begin to dance and clap along with the songs. However, when they said bye bye (before an encore), she enthusiastically waved bye bye and announced, "Bye, Hi 5."
And she was done.
The encore was two much for her and while I danced along with Archie who loved every minute of it, Bob took Lily to buy this obnoxious torch that has spinning LED lights and plays the full Hi 5 theme. It only served to cement my belief that whole thing was little more than a toddler rave, as if the bright neon lights and toddlers going spastic over the bubble machine like first year uni students at 2 for 1 drinks didn't already tell me that.
But, ever since then she has spoken of her experience positively, has definitely become more enthusiastic for Hi 5 and just today was telling me the names of the actors. Last week I asked her if she'd like to go to a Dora concert like the Hi 5 one we just saw and she was very excited and has been excited to see the ad for this travesty ever since.
And I caved, undid my self imposed Nick Jnr. ban and bought some tickets. I accidentally bought tickets where you also get to meet Dora, trying to avoid the 145th row back from the stage, and I think this will be a disaster, but we'll see.
The following Saturday, having planned poorly because one was in May and the other April, never mind the dates and days, we took Lily on her planned birthday trip to Taronga Park Zoo. First of all there were a lot of adults there to help us, Mum, Grandma, Aunty Jayne, Uncle Jared and Vicki having made the trek with us. Second of all, 6 months makes a lot more difference than I ever anticipated.
Lily was flat out excited. She told us more names and animal sounds than we thought she knew, astounding us by very clearly pronouncing giraffe, which I would have thought was quite difficult for a child just getting her head around language. Her favourite animals this time, pipping the elephants from last time at the post, were the Chimpanzees or "Mun-kees". She even thought to tell us about them on the trip home with no prompting. As the males were putting on quite the display, I'm not surprised they made an impression.
What did surprise me was, when let loose in the gift shop, allowed to chose something from Mummy and Daddy AND Grandma and Bucky, she settled on a llama. An ugly, stiff legged thing which to me doesn't seem appealing or huggable. We must have shown her every other thing in the store, but she barely even spared them a second glance, gripping this silly thing fiercely. So that's what she got. And now it resides in her bed with her six other bed friends. (Oh, I know you're wondering. There's a bed time Dora, who's been loved until she is Satan's creepiest friend, with matted electric shock hair and scratched out eyes, a Fisher Price my first dolly called Baby who was her little friend in the NICU, Lucky the puppy who was bought by Bucky when I was very first put in hospital, a bear intended as a sensory toy for infants that she recently discovered in Archer's toy box (it WAS hers) called Bear, Jessie from Toy Story and a tiger who used to "live" under my bed as a child and was under hers, but she insists he sleeps at the foot of her bed.)
So, taking Lily out has become a delight. She is interested, learns things and behaves well. I hope this continues because I'd love to make such outings a regular thing.
The last time I talked about taking Lily somewhere special, it was to Taronga Park Zoo when she was about 18 months old. And, it was fun, but it was very hard to tell if she got anything out of it and it was very hard work for not much reward, at the end of the day.
So, it was with some apprehension, Bob and I embarked on our first big outing since then.
I have been insisting for some time that we take the kids to the Easter Show. On Saturday 14 April, we finally did it. I was freaking out a bit, because Bob insisted we drive to Hornsby station and catch the train from there. I'm not going to lie, this part was difficult. Physically and mentally, but the actual show was tons of fun.
Lily was beyond over excited about the farm animals, cheerily naming them all, surprising us when she correctly identified a donkey and astounding us when she spotted the turkeys in the poultry shed and excitedly ran over saying "Turkey! Gobble gobble." I still have no idea where she learned this. Her Fisher Price Little People Farm has a turkey, but it doesn't make the sound and I've never shown her. Once I saw turkeys on Playschool, but Lily rarely sits and watches TV and this was at least a month prior, probably more. Kid is a sponge.
She liked the idea of her showbag (a Dora one with hat, jewellery box, umbrella, lunch box and water bottle) and enjoyed tasting the show favourite, a dagwood dog. Archer wasn't quite as fond of the whole experience, overwhelmed by the people, sights, sounds and smells, but he had an alright day and was very pleased with the Cookie Monster rattle from his Sesame street Beginnings showbag, which matches the Elmo one from Lily's first Ekka in 2010.
Bob and I agreed it was lots of fun and we've decided we'll making it annual event.
On Monday, 30 April, we took Lily to the Hi 5 concert at Hornsby RSL. I was very nervous, I had no idea what it was going to be like and when telling Lily what we were doing, she seemed more bewildered than anything.
I'm pleased to say, it wasn't a failure. Lily was extremely overwhelmed, but was able to muster a few "Wow, Hi 5!"s, and towards the end, she did begin to dance and clap along with the songs. However, when they said bye bye (before an encore), she enthusiastically waved bye bye and announced, "Bye, Hi 5."
And she was done.
The encore was two much for her and while I danced along with Archie who loved every minute of it, Bob took Lily to buy this obnoxious torch that has spinning LED lights and plays the full Hi 5 theme. It only served to cement my belief that whole thing was little more than a toddler rave, as if the bright neon lights and toddlers going spastic over the bubble machine like first year uni students at 2 for 1 drinks didn't already tell me that.
But, ever since then she has spoken of her experience positively, has definitely become more enthusiastic for Hi 5 and just today was telling me the names of the actors. Last week I asked her if she'd like to go to a Dora concert like the Hi 5 one we just saw and she was very excited and has been excited to see the ad for this travesty ever since.
And I caved, undid my self imposed Nick Jnr. ban and bought some tickets. I accidentally bought tickets where you also get to meet Dora, trying to avoid the 145th row back from the stage, and I think this will be a disaster, but we'll see.
The following Saturday, having planned poorly because one was in May and the other April, never mind the dates and days, we took Lily on her planned birthday trip to Taronga Park Zoo. First of all there were a lot of adults there to help us, Mum, Grandma, Aunty Jayne, Uncle Jared and Vicki having made the trek with us. Second of all, 6 months makes a lot more difference than I ever anticipated.
Lily was flat out excited. She told us more names and animal sounds than we thought she knew, astounding us by very clearly pronouncing giraffe, which I would have thought was quite difficult for a child just getting her head around language. Her favourite animals this time, pipping the elephants from last time at the post, were the Chimpanzees or "Mun-kees". She even thought to tell us about them on the trip home with no prompting. As the males were putting on quite the display, I'm not surprised they made an impression.
What did surprise me was, when let loose in the gift shop, allowed to chose something from Mummy and Daddy AND Grandma and Bucky, she settled on a llama. An ugly, stiff legged thing which to me doesn't seem appealing or huggable. We must have shown her every other thing in the store, but she barely even spared them a second glance, gripping this silly thing fiercely. So that's what she got. And now it resides in her bed with her six other bed friends. (Oh, I know you're wondering. There's a bed time Dora, who's been loved until she is Satan's creepiest friend, with matted electric shock hair and scratched out eyes, a Fisher Price my first dolly called Baby who was her little friend in the NICU, Lucky the puppy who was bought by Bucky when I was very first put in hospital, a bear intended as a sensory toy for infants that she recently discovered in Archer's toy box (it WAS hers) called Bear, Jessie from Toy Story and a tiger who used to "live" under my bed as a child and was under hers, but she insists he sleeps at the foot of her bed.)
So, taking Lily out has become a delight. She is interested, learns things and behaves well. I hope this continues because I'd love to make such outings a regular thing.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
How Premmie Mums are Chosen
Tomorrow is Mothers' Day and it is my third. This Mothers' Day, like the one before it, I have been reflecting on my first Mothers' Day. Lily was born on the Thursday before Mothers' Day and the Saturday night before, some elves visited the NICU and left presents. Part of those present packs was a magnet bearing a poem. I sincerely can't tell you what else was contained in that little bag, but I've treasured that poem ever since.
My friend Jess has just delivered her second baby. A second little girl and a premmie. Baby Girl Maitland (name yet to be announced) was born at 35+6 and is doing as well as a full term bub. However, in the road of parenting a prem, even those who are as amazing and "late" term as Baby Girl Maitland, sometimes little bumps in the road are found. Whether it's as simple as some old biddy saying something ignorant about our child's weight, someone saying something just a little insensitive about our baby's early than expected delivery or our own frustrations at slow development.
Whenever I've had bumps in the road with Lily because she was premature, I've returned to this poem and it has been wonderful. So this is for Jess, on her third Mothers' Day and her first as a premmie mum. May your road be smooth, but if it is not, may you find the comfort in these words that I have.
How Preemie Moms Are Chosen by Erma Bombeck
Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen?
Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.
Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia.
Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a preemie."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."
"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles.
"No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect She has just the right amount of selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see-- ignorance, cruelty, prejudice-- and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."
My friend Jess has just delivered her second baby. A second little girl and a premmie. Baby Girl Maitland (name yet to be announced) was born at 35+6 and is doing as well as a full term bub. However, in the road of parenting a prem, even those who are as amazing and "late" term as Baby Girl Maitland, sometimes little bumps in the road are found. Whether it's as simple as some old biddy saying something ignorant about our child's weight, someone saying something just a little insensitive about our baby's early than expected delivery or our own frustrations at slow development.
Whenever I've had bumps in the road with Lily because she was premature, I've returned to this poem and it has been wonderful. So this is for Jess, on her third Mothers' Day and her first as a premmie mum. May your road be smooth, but if it is not, may you find the comfort in these words that I have.
How Preemie Moms Are Chosen by Erma Bombeck
Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen?
Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.
Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia.
Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a preemie."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."
"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles.
"No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect She has just the right amount of selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see-- ignorance, cruelty, prejudice-- and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."
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