Things I have learned about baby clothing.

My daughter has A LOT of clothes. A scary amount, actually. Now she has slowed down growing, it's not nearly as bad as when she would only last in size for a couple of months. Sometimes, things would only get worn once. I always felt that this was a sickening testament to how rich we are as society, that a small child could accumulate so much stuff. However, I also learned to look after her clothes really well, so here are some tips, some Australia/Brisbane centric.

• If a stain won't come out on the first soak, try hand washing, if it still won't come out, soak it every load until comes out. It almost always will.
• Carrot and bolognaise are HORRIBLE to get out of your child's clothes. You are better off feeding them nude.
• If it can't be soaked, don't buy it.
• A tumble dryer is your best friend.
• If it says on the label "do not tumble dry", dry it on low heat. I have never ruined anything by ignoring this label.
• If it needs handwashing, you don't need it
• If you have a winter baby, you need at least one woollen hat and jumper. They DO need hand washing, but are the warmest thing you can get, so ignore previous rule.
• 3000 bibs, singlets and socks are not enough. Make it 6000. Actually, at least 20 bibs, singlets and socks. Little hats don't go amiss either.
• Everyone will buy you wraps. I had so many. Don't buy yourself wraps. 
• Muslin wraps are the best for breastfeeding. Don't buy any expensive special designed crap, because that's all it is.
• If you are planning on using disposable nappies, wait for sales. Big W has GREAT sales on Huggies. Stock up then. A box (108 NB, 99 Crawler) represents about a month.
• If you plan to use cloth, go to the Children and Babies Expo. They have samples you can handle, people to give you advice and excellent deals.
• Washers are cheaper and gentler on your baby's skin than even Huggies sensitive skin products. Target sells ten packs that are about $5 and they are the perfect size and thickness.
• Anything from Target will wash better, fit better and last longer than anything else. This includes Pumpkin Patch, all the DJs and Myer brands, Kmart and Big W. Best and Less is a very close second to Target.
• If you want gorgeous stuff that is unique, Australian made, inexpensive and well made, make the time to go to a Mummy Market. There are lots of them. My one of choice is the Ipswich Handmade Expo. There's also the Mummy Tree Market, the Butterfly Tree Market and the Mumma Market.
• Alternatively, buy off Facebook sellers. They are actually awesome.
• Bonds Wondersuits and singlets are expensive. This is because they are the best. Target and Best and Less often have sales that put them at a price that is comparitive to the home brand.
• No matter what you dress your child in, someone will, at some point, incorrectly identify your child's gender. This has happened to me at least twice while Lily was dressed extremely girly.

Anyway, I think that's all. Mummys feel free to add in the comments!

Things that annoy me (when it comes to parenting)

Just for fun, because I feel like it, I'm going to go on a little rant about things that annoy me. This is mainly inspired by me, in the face of Lily's upcoming 12 month vaccines, having a re-look at anti-vaccine advice.

1. Mummier-than-thou: I don't mind a bit of mumpetition. I actually quite like it. It makes me think through my choices for my daughter, read and re-read research and helps me learn to protect my daughter's best interests. It also helps me to humbly except that sometimes, I am wrong, or even a bit haphazard. What I can't stand, and I rarely get into conversation with such people and they certainly aren't my friends, is people who think that their choice is the only choice, that simply because you disagree, your research is flawed or non-existent. Better yet, I love people that flat out refuse to listen to bodies of evidence produced by better research practices than their sources because they know their sister-in-law's, cousin's, aunt's, dog's breeder did it the way their massively flawed research suggests. Sometimes I like to goad these people on message boards, but one must be careful arguing with such people as idiots nearly always win arguments by dragging you down to their level and beating you with experience. Or simply exasperating you so much, you give up as your brain leaks out your ears.
2. People who are rude about breastfeeding: I'm about to come out of the closest here. *deep breath* I plan to breastfeed until Lily is AT LEAST 2. This is not something I planned when I was pregnant. My mum didn't breastfeed, and my grandma didn't breastfeed long as Mum failed thrive on breast milk and many of my friends had been unsuccessful with breastfeeding and I was very anxious about public attitude. I planned to give it a go for at least 6 weeks and then what happened, happened. Then Lily was born prem and while I have yet to find unshakeable evidence that breast outstrips formula by a wide enough margin that it should be shoved down the throats of parents of healthy, full term babies the way some groups think it should, the evidence of the benefits of breast for prems is pretty much uncontested. So 6 weeks came and went, and my attitude shifted. I decided to breastfeed until at least 1, which had been Bob's attitude all along. Then 6 months came and went. And I decided that 2 was my new aim, and Bob agreed. Lily was pretty much a case for the text books on how good breast is for prems. But the disgusting things that are said about breastfeeding in some circles, usually not parents, have really made the bile rise in my throat. Comparing it to urinating or defecating in public, suggesting women should hide out in toilets or use bottles, suggesting there is something PERVERTED about it. It makes me furious. The public attitude is absurd. I've even heard some people, that should KNOW better, saying they will not breastfeed, not because of careful research or personal negative experience, but because they don't want to be tied down to their child. Oh, FFS. Well, for the love of all things holy DON'T BREED, because your kid will be a clear asset to society. Of course, things are turning around, and the new push by Queensland Health is for breast for 12 months+, which I think it awesome! Having said that, I will champion anyone who has chosen bottle for good reasons, and there are lots of them, exclusive of physical inability, and have done on many occasions.
3. And finally, why I'm here, the Anti-Vaccine Movement: When I was in hospital, I felt the urge to pick apart every decision for our child. It seemed like a better use of my time than moping. One of the things that piqued my interest was whether to vaccinate or not. I did exactly 10 minutes research. I went to the Australian Vaccination Network website, one of the leading anti-vax groups in the world, and was astonished there was no forum or way to make comment on the papers they presented. So I dug a little deeper and found them to be an exceptionally horrible organisation that had committed borderline terrorist acts, were vitriolic towards parents of sick children who were too young to immunised and had caught diseases off unimmunised children and called for people to sue anyone who gave them advice to vaccinate if their child had an adverse reaction, but didn't seem to think that the reverse could be true. That THEY may be sued if a child died after their parents took the advice of their organisation. And the absurd things they were saying, such as calling measles a benign disease made me distrust ALL their research and finally, I decided that anyone who told me to vax was at least more right than these fools when I discovered they weren't just AIDS deniers but CANCER deniers. And I discontinued my research. And Lily had been jabbed with everything since. 

However, as a footnote, since then I have followed all anti-vax/ pro-vax discussions and have kept a close eye on the activities of Meryl and her cronies. I have learned through doing this that:

• anti-vaxxers pose a threat to herd immunity, because the fewer people that vaccinate, the more a disease is likely to pop up and the less effective immunisation is as a whole because not all vaccines are 100% effective, 100% of the time and they require high levels of vaccination for efficacy. If 10% of people are allergic or unable to vaccinate because of disease, and 10% fail to vaccinate, you reach 80% vaccination rate, which is when herd immunity begins to fail. 
• The vast majority of anti-vax research is done with small test groups, poor scientific practise and with an end goal in mind. Sometimes, the research isn't even done by doctors, immunologists or scientists; sometimes it is an opinion paper from someone such as a naturopath, who really has no place purporting such things.
• If 100 papers support vaccination, anti-vaxxers will champion the one that doesn't, calling the sometimes THOUSANDS of doctors and scientists involved in the other papers sell-outs and cronies of "big pharma". 
• They still think Andrew Wakefield is a hero and have no f***ing idea about ASDs.
• they think SIDS guidelines are another thing the government is using to control the masses
• that Andrew Wakefield's paper set real Autism research back decades
• that, having read detailed descriptions of adverse reactions, and having seen what is described as a adverse reaction by anti-vaxxers as reason not vaccinate, that they are hysterical (c'mon, a grumpy baby with a fever and sore arm is a well documented reaction and is no reason not to vaccinate), fail to recognise other environmental factors (Autism cannot be recognised until 9 months and often not until after, so yes, it DOES correlate with the MMR, but only by coincidence) and gloss over cases of obvious child abuse (one case was clearly shaken baby syndrome)

This is not EVERYTHING I have learned but, in short, yes, I am worried about adverse reactions and hold my breath for up to a week after she gets vaccinated, but I am not going to stop vaccinating her because of this. Quite frankly, if you don't immunise your kid, you are a fucking idiot.

My kid is a little vicious....

In the past couple of weeks, Lily has become a little vicious.

It's my fault, really.

One night, just after a breastfeed, Lily reached up and grabbed my nose and pulled. Her father and I both laughed our heads off, so she did it again. And then she pulled my lips, poked my eyes and yanked at my hair. It was all very funny.

Until, two weeks on, she will let out a manic laugh and attack my face, hooking her fingers into my nose and pulling, twisting my lips, gouging my eyes and tearing out my hair in great handfuls.

It hurts. My eyes water and I often am left unseeing in one or both eyes for several seconds. But the damage is done and no amount of scolding or non-reaction can fix it. Especially as her father laughs his head off whenever she does it.

It won't be as funny when she does it to some poor child on a playground. I just hope he's the one that has to scoop her up and race off, mortified, calling apologies over his shoulder.

1000s of Kisses

I really like to kiss Lily. I must do it a hundred times a day or more. This might sound like an exaggeration, but it is not.

From a quick kiss on the head as I run past her while she sits on her play mat between loads of washing, to kissing her hands as she reaches up to touch my face while we play, to kissing her all over her tummy while she lies in bed with me in the morning, or kissing her all over her face and neck, just because it is fun.

I am lucky, because Lily likes to be kissed. Kissing her rapid fire anywhere on her body illicits the most delightful giggle bubbles and kissiing her on her face and hands helps her to relax when she is sad or tired, and feet kissing is just a fun way to play, and she often initiates this.

Lily also likes to kiss. Well, we call it kissing. It involves her grabbing your hair and yanking you forward as hard she can, opening her mouth as wide as it goes and pressing it against your cheek or nose, licking and biting. In truth, it's gross, and a little painful. But everyone laughs and we say "Oh, thank you for the kisses!" and, after all, she can't see the winces of pain.