So, 2011 has come and gone, and throughout this year our family has experienced many highs and lows. In fact, we have experienced the highest highs and the lowest lows.
I feel doing this letter in chronological order may prove confusing, so instead I'm going to break the year into the events that gave the year it's shape.
Mum
This year, on the 11 of January, my mum experienced a brain aneurysm complicated by a subarachnoid haemorrhage and day 8 vasospasms. In English? An enlarged blood vessel in Mum's brain ruptured, causing a bleed. The bleed resulted in a stroke. Because there was so much blood on her brain, Mum's body tried to protect her brain by constricting the blood vessels.
On day 3 after her aneurysm, Mum seemed to be getting better. She woke up and became animated and interactive, although a little strange and confused. We felt so good, but the worst had not yet passed. Vasospasms typically set in between day 4 and day 14 in about a third of patients with a subarachnoid haemorrhage and they have a very high morbidity rate. So each night I would sit up and wait for the clock to tick over to midnight, and give an excited cheer when no phone call came. But on the night between day 7 and day 8, Mum's character suddenly change and it became clear the very worst had happened. She was placed in a coma and every intervention was tried, but none were effective. Three times we were told that it was time to rally the family to think about withdrawing the support that was keeping Mum alive. And three times another doctor overruled, or Mum improved or showed signs of still being inside her very broken shell. It was finally decided that she would be taken out of ICU and placed on a ward, and if in three months, no improvement was made, support would be withdrawn. The doctor who told us this said that he did not believe Mum would ever improve beyond needing to have around the clock care.
We were devastated.
But Mum proved more awesome, strong and amazing than anyone gave her credit for. It would take pages to describe Mum's healing journey, so I will summarize. She went from strength to strength as days grew to weeks and weeks grew to months. She soon was able to walk with support, hold a reasonably sensible conversation, feed herself (although she really didn't want to) and perform all necessary bathroom applications almost totally unsupported.
For this reason, in May, she was able to be transferred from the Royal Brisbane Hospital to the Brain Injury Rehabilitation Unit at the Princess Alexandra Hospital.
Soon, she was able to come home for visits on weekends and then before we knew it, in September, Mum returned home for good. She is legally blind, with only partial sight in one eye, has significant difficulties with short and long term memory and has minor problems with speech and gait. She will probably never be wholly independent, but she has come a very long way from those dark, dark January days and has more than 2 years of healing to look forward to before we can say for sure how much damage the aneurysm did. We are truly blessed to have her here with us.
Bob gets a new Job
Last year it had become clear to us that Bob's career could not reach its full potential in Brisbane and we began to look for alternatives. A few of Bob's friends had moved on from Brisbane to Sydney, gaining employment at Yahoo7, so we decided Sydney was the place for us, but not yet as we had neither the finances nor the energy after Lily's eventful arrival into the world. In January, a job came up at Yahoo's newly acquired company, Spreets. After much talking, we decided that Bob should go for the job. The application and interview process is lengthy for Yahoo, with 7 steps in total. During the interview process, Mum fell ill and I fell pregnant.
At the end of the interview process, Bob got the job, and we were overjoyed. He was to start in March. But it posed the new problem of what to do with Lily and me. The original plan was that I would move down at Easter, after Bob had found a new place for us and our place had been successfully rented. But, with Mum how she was, and me pregnant and high risk, it was decided that I would stay with Grandma until after the baby was born and Bob would live with his dad, travelling home at weekends.
It was hard, and when I was threatened with preterm labour, it became harder but the job has proven worth it. Mark, Zoe and all the Spreets team have gone above and beyond in being supportive of us in this difficult year and we don't have the words to express how grateful we are.
Lily Grace
Lily is now 19 months old and she is Bob's and my unwavering sunshine. She has met this year of rapid growth and change head on and is now fully caught up for her actually age, growing and changing so much in the last three months in particular we can barely keep up. She now says in excess of 60 words and is more and more frequently using two and three word sentences, she finally walked at 16 months and now tears around the house like she's been doing it for much longer. She can build with Duplo, loves imaginative play and can eat pretty much unassisted with a spoon and fork and loves to drink from a cup. She adores animals of all kinds, books and Dora the Explorer.
She is a little water baby, and loves going to swimming lessons and the beach. She is incredibly funny and has a growing sense of humour. She is a wonderful big sister and loves her brother dearly, very rarely expressing jealousy. She really is a delight.
But that does not mean she has not had her challenges this year. On Christmas Eve she was taken to the hospital experiencing what we later learned was an anaphylactic reaction. After allergy testing, nothing proved conclusive and our paediatrician said she probably will never experience such an episode again, but just in case we have an allergy plan in place, complete with epipen.
My time on bed rest effected her emotionally in a way that simply breaks my heart. Even though Grandma was taking the best of care of her and hired a full time nanny, it wasn't the same as just having me home. She had difficulties with attachment to me, sleep and eating. But everyone has worked hard with her and she seems as happy and healthy as she ever was and after a rocky patch in our relationship, she is now certain I "hurl the moon", as Bob said just today (with just a hint of jealousy, as this used be his role and he is now demoted to hurling the stars).
I cannot wait to see what next year holds for her as she truly is a sweet, smart, funny and delightful little person who has a bright future.
My pregnancy and Archer Robert
Late last year Bob and I decide Lily was just so great we'd like another one. We decided at that time we'd wait until Lily's first birthday. And then some things changed our mind and we decided we'd like another one sooner rather than later and in February we found out we were expecting.
We were, of course, over the moon, if not a little shocked at how quickly it had happened.
My first trimester was not fun, like any first trimester and having to move out of our house into Grandma's was a real trial as most days I could barely rouse myself from bed. But we did it!
My second trimester brought on a feeling of wellness, excitement about having a much healthier pregnancy as I had my stitch placed at 14 weeks, and of course the all important anatomy and gender scan. At 19 weeks we found out we were having a boy (complete was 10 fingers, 10 toes and an adorable face), but we also found out my cervix was short.
And the nightmare that was Lily's pregnancy came back to haunt me as Dr Cattanach said that if it reduced to 1.5cm, I would have to go on hospital bedrest. And that is just where I found myself at 23 weeks.
With Bob in Sydney, me in hospital and Mum still in BIRU, Grandma decided to give Bob and I the greatest gift she has ever given us, and not only cared for Lily in a way only a Grandma can, but hired a live in nanny. There is no way we can ever repay her, or even thank her on a level that is equivalent. But from the bottom of our hearts we are so grateful.
I was blessedly released just shy of 27 weeks, still on bedrest, but at home with my precious little girl where I belonged.
At 31 weeks and 5 days, 2 days out from our "sprinkle" and 3 days shy of Lily's birth gestation, Dr Cattanach dropped a bombshell. My stitch was the only thing between our son and the world and his educated guess was that he would arrive with the fortnight. I was so sad. I did not want what happened to Lily to happen to Archer and I could not imagine spending the invaluable hours I had spent at the NICU with Lily with a toddler to care for.
But two weeks came and went. And then four weeks. And finally, after a hiccup at 36+6, the stitch and I parted ways at 37+3 weeks.
And on the 14 October at 37+6 weeks, Dr Cattanach and I made the decision to induce me and Archer Robert Maidens catapulted his way into the world after an hour of labour at 4.37pm weighing 3.408kg and measuring 51cm.
I might be a little biased, but he is the most extraordinary and beautiful little boy I have ever seen and Bob and I are so very in love. Thank you 1000 times over to the wonderful Dr Stephen Cattanach, Dr Tony Prado and all the staff at the Mater Mothers' Private Hospital in Brisbane for welcoming our son into the world, a perfect, amazing and gorgeous "termie"!
Moving to Gosford
When Archer was just two weeks old, we had to make the final voyage south, this time as a family and permanently! Earlier in the year, Grandma had sold my childhood home at Love Street, Holland Park and with the money had purchased an apartment in West Gosford. She offered to rent it to Bob and I for more than a fair price and we agreed. The day we moved in was the first time we had ever seen it. And we fell in love with it. It is perfect for a young family, with three good sized bedrooms, two bathrooms, a good sized living space and kitchen and a wonderful courtyard. We are so in love with it, in fact, that we have decided to sell our home at Augustine Heights next year and purchase it off Grandma. This will make it easier for me to stay home with the children until they begin school and also mean we can stay put for at least that long as well, which will be a relief.
And may this be the most eventful thing that happens in 2012.
Bring it on!
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